Sunday, October 23, 2016


Before I had Henry I took a lot of vacations. Everything from long trips to Peru and Hawaii to weekend trips to Sonoma, Joshua Tree or New York. Since Henry came into my life it has been so much harder for me to relax. The complete truth is that adjusting to motherhood has been much harder than I ever anticipated. Everyone always told me I would be a good mom. I loved children and I wanted them badly. When I had Henry I learned that the reality is that I'd lived my life very selfishly (not in a bad way but I was just always only responsible for myself and doing what I wanted). I also learned that I have zero patience. I've really struggled with anxiety, with getting frazzled when he won't stop crying or won't sleep. Much of that has been the hormones and the stress from my dad being so sick but it was also just areas where I needed (and still need to) grow. I've been very lucky having a patient husband.

Because of how stressful motherhood was to me, anytime our routine was broken up, I'd get upset and anxious. I could not handle any glitch in our system. That meant that trips and traveling were more stressful than not. We have been camping several times and we also went to Newport, but none of those were relaxing for me. I only felt refreshed if we left the kids behind. That creates a whole slue of other issues with leaving your baby, finding people to watch them, etc. 

Recently we went camping and for the first time, it was actually relaxing.  I was pretty easy going about getting ready and packing up.  Even though we had some stressful moments, on the whole, the trip was really relaxing.

It feels so nice to be at a point where I can relax with my kids least for now!!

Henry's first bike ride! He loved it and kept using sign language to say "more."

Henry's first boat ride.

After we went camping at the lake we went to Michael's drag races.  I thought Henry might not like the loud cars, but he was totally unphased and had a great time.

After the races, we spent one last day at the lake before we headed home.  It was so nice there, it was really hard to leave.

His belly kills me.  I guess it is time to get a new swim shirt!


  1. You are doing great! I'm worried that I will feel overwhelmed and anxious once Cameron gets here too. But I'm sure I will because it's all so new to me. It's quite the adjustment from just having to take care of yourself - or even your husband, who is another adult. A baby needs you full time. I'm here if you need to talk or vent! I'm sure I will need to soon! :)

  2. I so appreciate your honesty about this, I feel like most moms probably feel the same way but feel bad saying it. I have the same exact worries for when we have kids. It really freaks me out because we do live "selfishly"...less now because we have a puppy, but it is a huge lifestyle change. And I totally worry about my patience. Dont be hard on yourself and just know that you are a great mom. :)


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