Sunday, May 21, 2017

On Complaining

At church this morning the series is "choose joy" and each week we talk about how to Choose Joy in our lives.  Now I know not everyone is Christian so I promise this won't be super preachy and the point of this post is universal.  Just hang in there.  The sermon this morning was about how to give up complaining in exchange for rejoicing (i.e. being thankful and finding the good in each situation).

The pastor pointed to Philippians 2:14 which says "do everything without complaining and arguing." UM guys, seriously, EVERYTHING?  That is one tall order.  When he first said that I was like no, he can't mean that.  That's impossible.  What about when people are driving so badly?! What about when I am SO tired?!  What about those days when my kids turn into mutant monsters!?  Yup guys, everything, all the time, every day.

Once I got over my initial shock, I thought about how life-changing this could be.  We all get on social media and complain.  That just makes other people feel like complaining too.  What if we talked about our blessing and how lucky we are?  How would our marriages and relationships change if we didn't roll our eyes, argue, or complain about who is more tired, who had a harder day, who did the dishes the last 3 times, etc.?  I don't know because I don't do it, but man I think mine sure would change a lot.

I'm sure I won't succeed all of the time.  I'm sure I won't even notice I'm even complaining some of the time, but I REALLY want to try to stop complaining and try to shift the way I look at, you guessed it, EVERYTHING.

If you're feeling bogged down, ready for summer, like your boss/husband/work/kids/family/friends/whatever are driving you nuts, give it a try.  Change the way you think and see if it changes your life.  You don't have to be Christian to be more positive.  If you are Christian, all the more reason.  God calls us to do it.  If that isn't a good reason to try, I'm not sure what is.

This family of mine is the second reason I am going to try.  I have a sneaking suspicion the reason God calls us to try is for them anyways ;)

Wednesday, May 10, 2017


With Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I have been thinking a lot about "mom-ing."  Man, this is one HARD job.  I survived law school and the California Bar Exam with significantly more grace than I've done this mom gig.  The biggest lesson I've learned is that I am super selfish and impatient. I have been working super hard at being more patient, thinking more about serving my family and thinking less about what I want.  Let me tell you, it ain't easy giving up 30 years of habits though.

Now I know everyone needs their own time and stuff.  I do play tennis weekly and take occasional childless trips.  That being said, on the day-to-day, I live for my family.  Between working full time, shuttling kids around, laundry, cooking, cleaning, bills, pets, other commitments/appointments, we have NO free time.  This has been a HUGE adjustment for me.

I really admire and envy those moms who are so in the moment with their kids and handle the stress with calm and patience.  I am so not that mom.  I get angry, anxious, worked up, etc.  What's hard is that before I had kids, I really thought I would handle it with ease and grace.  Haha boy did God get me on that one!  Talk about humbling.  Luckily, He did bless me with two beautiful, healthy, smart, funny amazing kids.

I have noticed that since I stopped being bitter about it and stopped trying to find ways to do what I want with my kids, I have enjoyed them more, become closer with them and overall been much happier.  Everyone talks about being in the moment and it sounds so hippie/cliche to me, but it really is true.  When I am with them, I just have to accept that I cannot be working or whatever and enjoy being with them.

Only took me two years to figure out, but at least I made it right?  I'm sure I'll continue to struggle with this and learn plenty more lessons the hard way, but I guess that is how we become better people and stuff, right?!

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